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2019, You Taught Me Many Things!
💓Thank You💓

This year, 2019, has finally come to an end. This past year has truly been a year of growth and learning for me. I feel it is just like yesterday when I picked up my laptop to type Goodbye 2018, Hello 2019 back then in January. As 2019 comes to a close, I took a moment during these past few weeks to reflect on what has just happened and with that always comes a little reflection. Like many people, I have been thinking about all the things I did and learned this year and I am thankful for both, good and bad experiences.

As a type-A, plan-my-life-out, (actually there is almost nothing spontaneous about me and it is always something I have to consciously remind myself to do),  most often I am the person setting goals and working hard to achieve them. I worked hard for the things I love. I still haven't lost my dream of becoming an author or illustrator. I love writing and drawing. I am trying to make and create exciting characters, compost story lines, and show my creativity (I know that I will be able to do it someway, somehow). Reading has also gotten me through some difficult points in my life this year, and there are so many books that stand out in my mind. With each book that I read, I feel like I'm able to see into the world and even myself a little more. I also intend to read more books (and comics) next year than I read in 2019.

There are many bad things happened in this fxxking whole year. I spent so much time worrying about things that were out of my reach. Beating myself up whenever life took its wrong turn. Worrying about others and their feelings more than my own. The past couple of months have honestly left me feeling sad and disappointed. I have let toxic people walk into my life recklessly. I have never been so consistently blue in my entire life, therefore I didn’t even know where to begin putting the puzzle pieces back together. Fortunately, there is someone who helps me to solve my problems (I want to say thank you to her for always encouraging me with warm words. She has no clue how many times she has saved me from my mental breakdowns). She helps me understand how to look at things differently... rationally.

Do I still have days where I’ve cried twice a day or more? Sometimes. Do I still get sucked into a blue season when I know I really have so much to be thankful for? I am embarrassed to say… sometimes, yes, I do. But now, I’m self-aware enough to know that time heals most everything, and this year of new challenges and frustrations will soon be a memory rarely revisited.

From now on I’ll try to be happy, be kind and warm to every person, but I also have the strength to cut off the ones that mean to me no good. I promise I’ll give up on people who treat me lousy, will not be reckless with deciding who gets to stay and who gets the hell out of my life. I will appreciate myself more. I’ll say no every time I have to. I won’t agree to do something only for the sake of somebody else. I won’t feel bad when I don’t reply to every call or feel foolish when I refuse to go out on a Saturday night and instead stay in my room to watch my favorite variety show, Knowing Bros.

The last but not least, I can’t wrap up the year without thanking each and every one of you for being part of my journey. At the end of 2019, I want to say thank you to everyone who helps me through the whole year. I know saying Thank You is the simplest, but I think it is the most elegant way of telling people that I am appreciated for what they are and what they do. I can never repay for all the good things that many people do to me.

This year, 2019, has been unreal. It has been an amazing year for me, lots of amazing memories with some pretty amazing people. I have learned a lot about myself and have pushed myself to be a better version of me that I didn’t know I had. I’ll embrace every passion of mine, and will constantly work to upgrade myself. I believe the universe saved something great for me (I am patient enough to wait for it). I’ll take care of my physical and mental self as well. No matter how hard it feels, I’ll do whatever it is in order to be happy. There is nothing more important to me than my own health and happiness. I hope you do the same.

I'm truly grateful for every experience, and cannot wait to continue this journey next year with you all. 2020, I AM READY!

P.S.: I will write my 2020 goals

1. Prioritize healthy and my my own happiness
2. Prioritize relaxing.... just because!
3. Study English more (and Japanese maybe (?))
4. Traveling to South East Asian countries
5. Do Europe trip (Go to UK to see Premier League match because I'm a huge fan of Liverpool FC)
6. Watch summer Olympics 2020 matches in Tokyo (and planning to do Japan trip as well)
7. Study hard, apply for Korea University Business School or Waseda Graduate School of Letters, Arts and Sciences
8. Read more books in English, Korean, Japanese (and also in Dutch😀)
9. Earn a lot of money and eat delicious foods
10. Cry less!😊 and many more in the future 😃

Xoxo

Deb:)